Across many African households today, a quiet heartache lingers—one rarely discussed openly. It is the pain of parents slowly crumbling under the weight of their children’s decisions.

From my own experience, I have seen this play out not just among acquaintances but within my own extended family. I have watched individuals blessed with every advantage—quality education, caring parents, financial stability—still find ways to throw it all away. Many now live burdened by regret, while their parents bear the emotional and financial toll.

This isn’t a new phenomenon. Earlier generations also dealt with wayward children. But back then, the way such situations were handled often came down to how much money the parents had. Often, scarcity pushed young people into taking charge of their own lives sooner.

Without pointing fingers, there is a rising trend of wayward children, especially among well-off families. Many of these children are fully grown, yet their parents continue to carry responsibilities that ought to be theirs alone. Driven by fear of shame, a desire to uphold family reputation, or simply unconditional love, parents go to great lengths to ensure these adult children lack nothing. Some cover bride price payments. Others fund rent, buy houses as wedding presents, and bankroll entire lifestyles—even after their children are married.

A friend once shared a startling story with me. A grown man secretly sold his mother’s valuable property in a prime area of Kampala without her knowledge. When he was eventually arrested, the very mother he had betrayed begged for his release.

There are also worrying signs in our social spaces. Walk into many nightclubs today, and shisha smoking is everywhere. If this continues without restraint, we may soon witness communities raising funds for cancer treatment and other diseases linked to careless living.

On top of that, rehabilitation centres are increasingly filled with young people from wealthy backgrounds—individuals who had every opportunity but lost their way along the journey. Truly heartbreaking.

This is a delicate subject, and many choose to stay quiet about it. But staying silent solves nothing. Having conversations like this is essential if we hope to steer the rising generation toward accountability.

The reality is that parenthood does not stop when children become adults—but it must change form. Love must not become a cover for encouraging irresponsibility.

To the young ones reading this: the finest thing you can offer your parents is not riches, but accountability.

Deeper stories and solutions on this topic will be explored in my upcoming book, planned for release in 2027.